love doesn't age part 4: making my own family

Me and Laila had 2 beautiful daughters...

We never had a perfect relationship

I have brought several pains to my wife

I went home drunk every night

we sold some of our stuffs without her knowing

I got in to fights, got jailed few times..

I thought i will change..because I already have my family

instead I became a plague

I was a failure to my wife and my daughters

I didn't have a job, I was just staying outside and going out

with friends using my wife's earned money from the business

we both built..where I should suppose help her..

but all i think was im a failure that i could not do anything anymore

to change it! my demons have told me to go the evil ways

I have bad peers around me, they asked me to use this

white powder burn it and inhale the smoke...in one split second

I forgot where I was, and what I was thinking...I thought i was in heaven

I became immune and so I tried it everyday...until I dont have the money

to buy those white magic powders...I forced myself to get every thing

from our business, sold my car just for those fantastical seconds that will

free me from my worries...

I was facing the mirror and mourned on what i have become

then I saw my daughter at the back

"daddy why are you crying?"

I cant tell her what I am going through for she was just a young mind

and she will never understand..I shouted at her and told her to get out!

the next seconds I faced the mirror...I saw blood running through my nose

I already put ice added pressure on my nose bridge but it wouldn't stop

bleeding...I fainted and the next time I woke up..I was at the hospital

my wife was holding my hand worried...

the doctor came and we talked about my condition

I heard the doctors words and it runned in my head a million times

"You have Liver cirrhosis, you must stop taking alcohol or it will burn

the rest of your liver..your'e in 2nd stage..if you dont stop, you'll have2

2 years to live"

I was looking at my daughters they were just little
I dont want to live them remembering their father was just
an alcoholic, drug addict, trouble maker...
they dont have any idea...I look at them with love
and overcoming it...I gave them a hug and a kiss in their cheeks
and tears came pouring like rain...

the next day I stopped drinking...I stopped everything
and I told my wife "lets move to another place and start our new lives"