The old woman who despise love

when it comes to love...im the last person in the lane
how come there's no person who come and stay...
all of them go and leave me....

Fate must've hated me
if I like him...he's probable taken or in love with someone else
If He likes me....I dont like him...no spark and all

I try to meet men
but they all was looking for something I can not give
not until I get a ring on my finger
whenever I turned into this conversation with them
they dont like my idea..

He then starts to ignore me
He then starts to say goodbye
He talks about things i dont like
make things to hurt me...

I know that there's this person who will perfectly
understands my situation...
problem is..they are billions of them! out there...somewhere
I try to be observant as I meet, know and talk to them
but sometimes...its tiring to find that someone
will swept off my feet...

I grew hopeless everyday
learning that Im all alone
unhappy

I have all...
all the things to be happy...
but the thing that will make me happier
is the only missing part of my life

Im growing old....
I pass each days as if
I have wasted another time without that special person

Im worried about me..
I'll be alone all my life right after I grew tired of searching for him...
tomorrow is a step....days and days pass I become weak

I was betrayed by love
nobody likes me

my head is tired finding from left to right
there's no time to love anymore

my hair turned gray
and my skin sagged and crumpled

My body has become heavy that I might not be able to stand
Everyday I woke up with a sight of white ceiling
Then at night my eyes become worn out unable to carry the
heavy eyelid....then I realized it never opened

Love doesn't age : AUTHOR"S NOTES

hello Im Clai
I am so glad that somebody is reading my stories..
I am very happy when I see the page views on rise

this story was very close to my heart
because I was the eldest daughter of Ricky
yes this was my father's story
I hope
I have gave you the inspiration
I hope I have quenched youre heart
I love my father that it made it easy for me to
write the words in letters...

Love doesn't age part 6: The day I part

I was crying alone in the house
when my eldest daughter sent me this sms

"daddy! I got 76/100 in the exam...I promise I'll
pass the Nursing Board exam, I'll be your nurse..
I know I was called to do this, because I am destined
to take care of you...I love you daddy, do u still have
a fever?"

I went to every houses of my friends
with a smile...and I read them this message
and they thought that im really lucky father

My fever is slowly getting higher
my hands are already shaking
and sometimes I just dont feel like
waking up and standing again
until I didn't wake up at all

I can feel what's happening to me
My wife brought me to the hospital again
and this time its worse...
they put tubes on my nose and my mouth
I can feel not only 5 times a needle
struck into my skin...
I have never felt this pain before...
I was agonizing..
I got mad sometimes with my wife
how could she let something happen to me like this?
but I understand, she is doing everything
to save me...she didn't want me to leave
but I am near to give up....its been a week
with this tubes on me..I broke down...I grasp my last breath
I felt someone hold my hand
I knew it was my eldest daughter
Im proud of her...I know its sad to leave at the exact
day of her exam, not an ideal day to leave...but Im already weak
that I can't stand another day anymore

one more breath....and that's the last....
I felt the pain slowly going away...
and yes I have seen the light
and I heard the voice of my wife

"Goodbye Ricky, I love you and I will miss you
I know you dont have the pain already, be happy
and look after us..thank you for giving me the love
you have made my life whole, you have upraised me
for who i am..to whatever you have done bad to me
I forgive you, and I hope you forgive me too..
so long Ricky, my love, my life....my everything
and we will see each other someday...together again"

and I continued walking to the light...

Love doesnt age part 5: A good father

A new place a new life

I knew I have won over my demons

this time I have kept up from my daughters and my beautiful wife

I cook them meals everyday

I go to groceries and a lot of household chores for them

I dont care if I was tagged as a HOUSEBAND
because I love doing things like this for them.

I have been doing this things for nearly 10 years

I am all clean

closer to God

a good father, wish i was a long time ago

Then suddenly

I didn't woke up...

I recognized my wife's hand shaking me

hearing her voice

"WAKE UP WAKE UP"

the next thing I saw when I opened my eyes

was my eldest daughter's face

everything was white

she said I was in the ICU...and has been sleeping for 3 days already

I have recovered so fast...im very greatful that i have a daughter

the next day I was at our home...

I still went to my doctor for post check ups

and the last meeting with him I remember...

the doctor asked my wife to leave the office at the moment

because there was something he needs to tell me..

that my liver has reached its last stage

and I have to leave this world

any time soon...

I went out the doctor's office with a smile..

my wife asked but i never told him the truth..

I know she'll be devastated...

love doesn't age part 4: making my own family

Me and Laila had 2 beautiful daughters...

We never had a perfect relationship

I have brought several pains to my wife

I went home drunk every night

we sold some of our stuffs without her knowing

I got in to fights, got jailed few times..

I thought i will change..because I already have my family

instead I became a plague

I was a failure to my wife and my daughters

I didn't have a job, I was just staying outside and going out

with friends using my wife's earned money from the business

we both built..where I should suppose help her..

but all i think was im a failure that i could not do anything anymore

to change it! my demons have told me to go the evil ways

I have bad peers around me, they asked me to use this

white powder burn it and inhale the smoke...in one split second

I forgot where I was, and what I was thinking...I thought i was in heaven

I became immune and so I tried it everyday...until I dont have the money

to buy those white magic powders...I forced myself to get every thing

from our business, sold my car just for those fantastical seconds that will

free me from my worries...

I was facing the mirror and mourned on what i have become

then I saw my daughter at the back

"daddy why are you crying?"

I cant tell her what I am going through for she was just a young mind

and she will never understand..I shouted at her and told her to get out!

the next seconds I faced the mirror...I saw blood running through my nose

I already put ice added pressure on my nose bridge but it wouldn't stop

bleeding...I fainted and the next time I woke up..I was at the hospital

my wife was holding my hand worried...

the doctor came and we talked about my condition

I heard the doctors words and it runned in my head a million times

"You have Liver cirrhosis, you must stop taking alcohol or it will burn

the rest of your liver..your'e in 2nd stage..if you dont stop, you'll have2

2 years to live"

I was looking at my daughters they were just little
I dont want to live them remembering their father was just
an alcoholic, drug addict, trouble maker...
they dont have any idea...I look at them with love
and overcoming it...I gave them a hug and a kiss in their cheeks
and tears came pouring like rain...

the next day I stopped drinking...I stopped everything
and I told my wife "lets move to another place and start our new lives"

Love doesn't age part 3: Serendipity

Life has been good enough to me...I have moved on to what happened

I went to the local grocery store and I saw this tall lady
who looked very familiar to me...
LAILA?
I took my steps to get near her, and i was surprised it was her
the beautiful woman who interviewed me..I am so glad to see her
but why does this heart keeps on beating like its coming out of my chest
I look at her in slow motion
and I can see her bright eyes....

from then on

I would always visit the grocery to visit that beautiful manager Laila
my feet is always taking me to this grocery even if i dont have any
needs to buy at all...
I have sent her roses
recorded  lionel richie's song "hello" with my voice and send it to her
send her hundreds of letters...with my kisses on it
I am in love again

I knew from the time i saw her again on that grocery
"She'll be my wife"

time has passed by and I asked her to go home with me
together!
She agreed and right after we landed...
the next week...we got married in the court
the next week...we got married in the church

and so I vowed to love her forever

Love doesn't age part 2: Goodbye Girlie

somehow between the writing of our letters to each other
Girlie grew distant from me...its hard to keep a long distance relationship
i cant stand her absence, I was lonely everytime that I dont even get to see her
and then the last letter from girlie arrived

Dear Ricky,

I hope your fine right now! i know that this distance is just tearing us apart
i have found already my new happiness to someone who could give me more
time and love..i cant wait for you..i know that your job right now is far more
important than anything else, i knew you did this for your parents and siblings
please take care of yourself...this will be my last letter to you
Im getting married on tuesday..june 11, 1987
I hope you'll forget me soon

Girlie

================

I was devastated of what I have received, she didn't knew that this wasn't
just because i wanted the whole world that i can have a job
and my education has contributed me something...it wasn't just that...
I was hoping that she understand that i also did this because i can see our
future together..

I kept myself busy...i drowned myself working just to keep myself
and my mind free from thinking about her...until it takes some time when
there's this moment that i could say "wow! i wasn't thinking about her!"
Girlie became a memory to me....it was like she was just a dream that never happened
I was at the seashore

I suddenly felt this emotion of loneliness...

i shouted as loud as i can...i called for the love ones i left in my home

i miss them so much...I have once thought of going back...but it was just

3 months...i received the challenge...and i took it seriously

I built my own routine living in this strange country

after several months more...I become one of them...

I gained more friends...rode bicycle all over the city...it became my second home

visiting beautiful spots every night...

its definitely lonely

but the beauty of the place has took over my heart at the moment

and I told myself

someday...i will find that one woman

and take her here...